If you feel the need to assert your manliness, you’re just compensating.

Posted: 8 February 2010 in feminism, media, women's rights

Yahoo’s headline the day after Super Bowl XLIV was “Guys take a beating in funny Bowl ads.” Well, that’s not very accurate. Women took most of the beating, figuratively and literally.  There were a swath of commercials that either outright denigrated women or took shots at my manhood by insinuating that if I have anything to do with women other than raping and pillaging, I am not actually a man.

1 – Betty White gets pasted in a backyard football game. So does Abe Vigoda, but this commercial is probably among the least offensive one of the woman-beating pack.

2 – Tim Tebow tackles the woman who made the brave choice to bring him to term despite her doctor’s warning that the pregnancy could kill both of them. Moral? Ban abortion. And the gay.  It wasn’t really offensive, except when they flashed the Focus on the Family website. *

3 – The Dockers ads weren’t blatant on their face, unless you see the print side of this campaign. Strange, I feel more manly when I’m wearing a kilt.

4 – Teleflora promoted the notion of the bitch-in-charge and the idea that women in the workplace are constantly attempting to one-up each other.

5 – The Dodge Charger commercial that tells men everywhere that being an equal member of the household and putting up with your ridiculous woman is only a means unto an end: driving a gas-guzzling penis surrogate.

6 – Dove felt the need to chime in and tell me exactly what makes me a man, including “be good at sports, always look cool” and “find a nice girl who’ll say ‘I do’.”

7 – E*Trade tells us it’s never too young to sleep around and play the markets. (You must be 18 years of age to open an E*Trade Securities account).

8 – Budweiser told us to stop listening to that obnoxious harridan and drink some beer. Just because she found a way to survive The Island and even get your ass rescued, she needs to shut the fuck up – she’s no Matthew Fox.

9 – In the “as blatant as I wanna be” category, we have FloTV informing me that if I go lingerie shopping with my woman, she has “removed my spine.” Seriously?!

10 – And, as always, there are the increasingly offensive and ludicrous Godaddy commercials that tell us what we all want to know: women just want to tear their clothing off in the presence of Danica Patrick – and not just because they’re attracted to her, but because they want to work the domain-registration pole.

* The FotF ad was followed on the next break by this ad.  Mark Sanchez starts talking about the sound of his own heartbeat, and everyone in the room gets ready to scream or throw things at the screen thinking it’s another anti-choice ad, but it turned out to be a message about women’s heart health.  Props to CBS – of course, the Tebow ad was a shot against women’s health, an that doesn’t make you even.

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Comments
  1. Josh says:

    Unless one of the women in the presence of Danica Patrick is Monica Bellucci, I can’t say I’m terribly interested.

  2. Jessica says:

    Betty White’s, “That’s not what your girl friend said” cracked me up this morning though. She is such an awesome old lady.

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