Tea Partiers – The Anti-American Jesus Haters

Posted: 18 July 2010 in civil rights, human rights, obamanation, politics, religion, republicans

I saw a cluster of Tea Party protesters outside the local mall today, and as I drove by, I made a point of laughing hysterically at them, because really, when you get right down to it, they’re hilariously stupid.   The tax burden is the lowest it’s been in 60 years, and they have the nerve to demand that they’re over-taxed.  Sure, sure, right.  Scratch the surface, and what they really mean is “I hate that Obama won.”  There’s really nothing more to it.

That being said, I think that the best way to combat them is to resort to their tactics – pick a narrative, and refuse to deviate from it.  The narrative I propose is that they hate Jesus, and, by extension, America.

They will, of course, deny this, but there are so, so many passages in the Bible to toss at them that you may as well just chuck the entire book at their head – and then claim, when they duck, that they can’t stand the touch of the Bible and that is therefore proof of their demonic nature.  Just do what they do – turn everything that they say or do into support for your argument.

“Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s,” Jesus said, which means “Pay your fucking taxes like a good citizen.”  They don’t want to do that, so they must hate Jesus.

Jesus said that if you don’t help the sick and the poor, you’re not helping him.  They hate the idea of healthcare and welfare, so they must want Jesus to starve and die.

It doesn’t get easier than this.  The Tea Partiers hate Jesus.  And since they insist that this is a Christian nation, and they hate Christ, they obviously hate America, too.

  1. Deb says:

    That was absolutely hilarious. Thanks for a great laugh. I think you’re on to something here.

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