Archive for the ‘feminism’ Category

I get it already, thanks.

Posted: 11 October 2010 in feminism, women's rights

I’m not a woman, so please excuse me if I step out of line here a bit:  I’m fucking tired of hearing about Breast Cancer Awareness.  Not breast cancer, Breast Cancer Awareness.  While I understand that the average American is dumber than a box of rocks and can be relied upon to get simple general-knowledge/current events questions embarrassingly wrong, I believe that it’s safe to say that any woman who isn’t aware of breast cancer has been living under a rock for the past few years.

I have three problems with the phenomenon that is BCA:

1)  Turning everything pink does does nothing to make people aware of anything except a vague concept that has to to with the more acceptable to ogle ladyparts,

2) The push for “awareness” doesn’t seem to include a lot of education on prevention.  Seems like they want people to be aware that there’s a shitload of pink crap to buy.

3) Marketing this to men is like marketing motor oil awareness to women.  Yes, I just fucking said that.  And I have a valid point – When it comes to the standard nuclear family, which, believe it or not, is the standard, the woman almost always the person in charge of the family’s medical care.  It’s just the way our society has shaken out.  The man, on the other hand, handles the vehicle.  Now, he may be rock-dumb when it comes to changing the oil, but head down to your local service station and tell me how many women you see changing an oil filter.  The point here is that BCA is a product marketing campaign and not much else.  So, instead of going after their target audience, they’ve decided to smear hot pink all over every NFL uniform.  See that, guys?  FOOTBALL BEER TITS.  Cowboys lost to the Titans yesterday, and then you went upstairs and jerked off to the thought of your girlfriend touching herself while completely missing the point of breast cancer.

The NFL’s target audience is not women.  Sure, the money-printing machine that it is has certainly tried to build its female demographic, but in the end, it plays to its base.  The fact that it has drenched itself in pink is proof of one thing:  it cares far more about its fans’ erections than its fans’ health.  It’s not trying to raise BCA for all the womenfolk it want to watch its product, it’s going with FOOTBALL BEER TITS.  If it cared about its target audience, we’d be seeing a lot more ads for Prostate Cancer Awareness.

Hey, I understand that telling your violently heterosexual audience that they’re going to die unless they allow their doctor to sodomize them probably isn’t a good money maker.  But when you consider that prostate cancer kills nearly as many men as breast cancer kills women annually, it’s a bit remiss on the part of the NFL to run with a marketing campaign that was obviously having no problems smearing itself over everything else.

For me, the worst part about it is the overt sexualization of breast cancer coupled with the disassociation of breast and women.  Women are more than a set of tits.  Cancer isn’t sexy.  Getting men to care about pink ribbons on a football is not doing anything to cure cancer or save lives – all it’s doing is selling FOOTBALL BEER TITS.  And it’s not even help save the lives of the people it’s being sold to.

So here’s my compromise:  Figure out a way to sexualize prosate cancer for women, and then have The View and Oprah aggressively market it.


Yahoo’s headline the day after Super Bowl XLIV was “Guys take a beating in funny Bowl ads.” Well, that’s not very accurate. Women took most of the beating, figuratively and literally.  There were a swath of commercials that either outright denigrated women or took shots at my manhood by insinuating that if I have anything to do with women other than raping and pillaging, I am not actually a man.

1 – Betty White gets pasted in a backyard football game. So does Abe Vigoda, but this commercial is probably among the least offensive one of the woman-beating pack.

2 – Tim Tebow tackles the woman who made the brave choice to bring him to term despite her doctor’s warning that the pregnancy could kill both of them. Moral? Ban abortion. And the gay.  It wasn’t really offensive, except when they flashed the Focus on the Family website. *

3 – The Dockers ads weren’t blatant on their face, unless you see the print side of this campaign. Strange, I feel more manly when I’m wearing a kilt.

4 – Teleflora promoted the notion of the bitch-in-charge and the idea that women in the workplace are constantly attempting to one-up each other.

5 – The Dodge Charger commercial that tells men everywhere that being an equal member of the household and putting up with your ridiculous woman is only a means unto an end: driving a gas-guzzling penis surrogate.

6 – Dove felt the need to chime in and tell me exactly what makes me a man, including “be good at sports, always look cool” and “find a nice girl who’ll say ‘I do’.”

7 – E*Trade tells us it’s never too young to sleep around and play the markets. (You must be 18 years of age to open an E*Trade Securities account).

8 – Budweiser told us to stop listening to that obnoxious harridan and drink some beer. Just because she found a way to survive The Island and even get your ass rescued, she needs to shut the fuck up – she’s no Matthew Fox.

9 – In the “as blatant as I wanna be” category, we have FloTV informing me that if I go lingerie shopping with my woman, she has “removed my spine.” Seriously?!

10 – And, as always, there are the increasingly offensive and ludicrous Godaddy commercials that tell us what we all want to know: women just want to tear their clothing off in the presence of Danica Patrick – and not just because they’re attracted to her, but because they want to work the domain-registration pole.

* The FotF ad was followed on the next break by this ad.  Mark Sanchez starts talking about the sound of his own heartbeat, and everyone in the room gets ready to scream or throw things at the screen thinking it’s another anti-choice ad, but it turned out to be a message about women’s heart health.  Props to CBS – of course, the Tebow ad was a shot against women’s health, an that doesn’t make you even.

Jimmy Carter stands up to his religion for his morals and women everywhere (h/t to Feministing):

I HAVE been a practising Christian all my life and a deacon and Bible teacher for many years. My faith is a source of strength and comfort to me, as religious beliefs are to hundreds of millions of people around the world. So my decision to sever my ties with the Southern Baptist Convention, after six decades, was painful and difficult. It was, however, an unavoidable decision when the convention’s leaders, quoting a few carefully selected Bible verses and claiming that Eve was created second to Adam and was responsible for original sin, ordained that women must be “subservient” to their husbands and prohibited from serving as deacons, pastors or chaplains in the military service.

That is quite the example.

So, I don’t post here nearly as much as I would like to, because I am in a serious writing funk lately.  That being said, there are plenty of things that raise my ire, and I simply can’t muster the words to properly vent my spleen, so I will merely make with the links and the Twitter-length pithy snark:

‘No Coloreds Allowed’ Pool Now Operating In Montgomery County – This is not too far from me, and it’s disgusting.

NFL Player serves 24 days of a 30-day sentence for KILLING A GUY – Seriously?  He was drunk and killed someone and got 30 days and only had to donate $2500?  HE’S A MILLIONAIRE!  Oh, right.

Texas declares a moratorium on education – THIS HERE BIBLE’S ALL THE SKOOLIN AH NEED.  Actually, it could have been worse.

The Telegraph is re-writing scientific journals for headlines – but hey “men might be the problem here” isn’t going to sell a lot of papers, are they?  WE ALL KNOW WOMEN CAN’T READ, RIGHT?

Obama nixes nixing the federal needle swap ban – Oh, but he’s still so HANDSOME, right?

OK, that’s my outrage limit for the day.  There’s so much more out there, but my life insurance policy doesn’t cover me throwing myself onto I-95 at rush hour.

From Feministing:

A South Korean woman was sucessfully sued for “damaging her social and moral image through her own fault” after she comitted suicide.  What horrible tabloid fodder did she do to damage her social and moral image?  Partying on the town?  Lurid pictures?  Drugs?

Nope, she allowed herself to be beaten by her abusive husband.

And now we have the South Korean court system to thank when abused women are blamed for their abuse.

I wrote this on a message board a while back in response to this charge:

Remember Sodom and Gomorrha? It was completely destroyed because God cannot stand this sin. Please read a KJV of the bible.

I have read the KJV Bible. Here’s what it (very explicitly) has to say about your god’s destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah:

Ezekiel 16:49 “Behold, this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy.”

Sodom was torched for being rude and inattentive to the poor (hmm, sounds familiar). No mention of homosexuality there. There’s actually no implication of homosexuality in the verses you mentioned, either. Yes, I understand that your holy book sometimes uses “to know” in place of “to penetrate in a sexual manner,” but in this case, it makes much more sense if you refrain from turning everything into a sexual reference.

Here’s how it reads if you don’t make a penis joke out of it:

Two strange guys show up in a village city and sequester themselves in the house of a particular person. This being the Bronze Age, people are understandably wary about this. Might be spies from a neighboring tribe, here to case the joint in anticipation of a raid! “Bring them out unto us, that we may know them,” they say, meaning “who are these strangers that you’ve brought in here to spy on us? Inquiring minds want to know!”

Lot’s response? He offers up his virgin daughters to the crowd and suggests that they gang-rape the poor girls (not exactly Father of the Year material, but he’s not done yet). The crowd, security-minded (albeit a bit rude) citizens that they are, are not mollified. Of course, Lot deflowers his daughters himself later in the narrative (now he’s Father of the Year), something your god doesn’t seem to have a problem with.

Now, let’s look at this from your perspective:

Sodom was torched because your god apparently couldn’t find 10 non-homosexuals residing therein. Interesting, considering that homosexuals make up at best 10% of the population. People in those days rarely traveled more than 10 miles from their homes in their entire lives, yet your version of events would have required practically every homosexual for hundreds of miles to make the trip to the ol’ Gayborhood, Sodom and Gomorrah – because since they were all gay, it’s not very likely that they had a self-sustaining population, right? The only way they could maintain it would have been to promote immigration. “Hay HAY hay! Come on down to SODOM and be a SODOMITE! Every day is a gay holiday! Everyone just FLAAAAMES! Well, except for this one guy who might suggest that you gang-rape his daughters, but we don’t talk to him.”

Yeah, your scenario doesn’t seem very likely. Or even plausible.

You need to get over this sex obsession of yours. I understand that your holy book is chock full of people having sex with all manner of inappropriate partners, human or otherwise (with and without your god’s consent), but seriously, you need to let it go.

And to top it all off, I offer you this completely hilarious but not worksafe episode of The Professor Brothers:

Via Feministing:

Now, I thought Hillary Clinton got a little mealy-mouthed on women’s rights during the lead-up to the presidential race.  She very nicely puts those fears to rest in front of the Senate.  Thank you Madame Secretary!